I've been stuck in a rut lately. A serious rut, I feel so empty and so lost. Things were manageable until recently, and then everything got too much and I realised I needed to remind myself of a few things and with that I wanted to offer some advice to all you lovely people.
I guess without realising my blog, well this is my outlet, my space where I can write what I feel and express in whatever way is best. It's not always, when I'll tell you I'm struggling, most of the times these posts don't reach the publish button. But today, today feels different. Forget my blog schedule, forget my routine and forget the people that think this is pushing boundaries, that I shouldn't tell you this...well, tough. I want to remind myself and all you lovely people, that everything will be okay in the end but sometimes we do just need that reminder.
1) CRY IF YOU NEED TO
I'm a sucker for this, I'm so strong until that one word or needing to say that one sentence and the tears come flooding. Toms notices now when I'm crying (I try and hold it back) but suddenly I hold my breath and he's completely aware that tears are falling down my cheeks. But ITS OKAY! Having that time to cry really works for me and sometimes it can be good for other people too. Holding tears back can actually be worse than crying in front of people, trust me I've done both a fair few times!
2) CONFIDE IN THAT ONE PERSON
Now this, this is my one struggle. I have many friends but none I really feel I can confide in. But we all have at least one person. Thankfully tonight, it was proven to me I have two people in my life. My boyfriend and my life long friend. Both have caught me today in my worst moments and picked me up when I really needed someone. Even knowing someone is there to lean on is the biggest weight off someone's shoulders.
3) SILENCE IS OKAY
Not in the don't speak, pretend it isn't happening kind of way. But taking your time to explain or trying to explain. When I need to talk, some times conversations happen in my head first. Which means there's moments of silence between what I need to say. Sometimes it's difficult for the other person to understand but that chance to get your thoughts together really can help you, personally most people in my life need to know this about me.
4) DO WHAT HELPS YOU MOST.
Talk to people when your ready to talk, spend time alone if that's what you need. Take your time to reach out to another person...do everything at your own pace. It may sound crazy and the idea of talking should happen as soon as you feel you need to talk but if your not ready, don't push yourself. This may not work for everyone but feeling forced into explaining your problems or feelings can possibly make you feel worse in the long run. I like to take time alone, being with myself can really help me sometimes and usually after that day alone when my thoughts are more together, that's when I turn to someone and that's usually my boyfriend.
I know this may be the biggest rambling mess you've ever read, but it's almost midnight, I'm beginning to sicken for something and I'm extremely tired from my day, but I feel like I want to reach out to someone, even if it is just that once or no one reads this, maybe I can feel as though I've helped. Just remind yourself when ever you're feeling down, unhappy or alone. That these feelings are okay and that everyone feels them too. Just because you feel alone in that moment doesn't mean you have to go through it alone, honestly. And with that, I can also be that person for you if you need it. I may not help but reaching out to someone, I can be that person if anyone needs it!
Though, I hope you're all well and not feeling the low feeling that I am.